Wednesday, April 2, 2008

I thought my neighbor was dead

A retired, old man lives below my apartment. I know...we get real crazy on the weekends here...kidding. Anyways, I noticed his car did not move for over two weeks. Crazy thoughts ran into my head - is he DEAD? What if I could have helped him? What if people question me like on Law & Order (which wouldn't be bad if it was Elliot Stabler)? Would a weird dead body smell seep into my apartment? WHAT DOES A DEAD BODY SMELL LIKE?!

Days went by and my questions still pondered. Knock on his door? Call the apartment manager? I probably should have knocked on his door, but what do you say? I thought you were dead - just checking! Luckily, I ran into another neighbor who enjoys gossipy chit-chat and Grey's Anatomy. Oh yeah...he also plays the organ at 10:30 at night. YES, I can hear it. He's a big, muscular guy...and I'm going to go out on the limb here and say he's gay. Not because of his TV watching habits or organ playing, but he once described, in detail, the hotness of a new guy neighbor. Heck, I agreed with him, and it sealed my initial impression.

During our conversation on home decor I softly whispered, "You know the man that lives below me? Is he DEAD?" Fearing the worst, my neighbor laughed and said, "Girl, you are SO crazy...shoo he got himself a new car and lady friend." Whew...my neighbor is not dead...and the weird smell in my apartment must be old garbage. The trials and tribulations of living alone...more on that topic later...please sir.

7 comments:

Please Sir said...

OMG! I had a similar scare with one of my old neighbors...her car finally moved and I saw her walking around so I stopped panicking, but for a week there I was freaking out!!!

Diana said...

I know - RIGHT?! Looking out for the people in the neighborhood...

katelynjane said...

Did you hear about that mummified body of an old lady they found in an apartment building?? She was dead for about 13 years or something! No one smelled her because a window was open in her room. Gross!! So glad your neighbor isn't dead! That would be...strange...

paisleystclaire said...

I was about to say 'You're so funny' and then I remembered how my lounge is in front of our big window and looks directly at the house across the street, and I have been watching with interest the development of a romance between the lady (in her 40s) who lives there and a seemingly lovely man.

He moved in about a month ago and now they go out boating and walk the dogs together. So sweet.

No kidding, as I'm typing this, a removalist van just pulled up and they are delivering some of his furniture! He's moving in for good! Oh, hooray for her!

I need to get a life...

Diana said...

Kate - wow...didn't hear about the mummified body - crazy! I'm glad that wasn't my situation.

Paisley - Hilarious! You are awesome. I'm glad to hear the couple is moving in together! No worries, people watching is in our nature.

M. Patrizio said...

Hi, I just clicked over from print&pattern. This story is so funny. I have a 93 yr old woman living in the apartment under mine and I worry about the same thing all the time! Meanwhile, all my friends are plotting her death so they can take her apartment...evil peeps!

Diana said...

M. Patrizio - thanks for stopping by! Wow great story! I'm sure that happens all the time in the city.

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