I thought my neighbor was dead

A retired, old man lives below my apartment. I know...we get real crazy on the weekends here...kidding. Anyways, I noticed his car did not move for over two weeks. Crazy thoughts ran into my head - is he DEAD? What if I could have helped him? What if people question me like on Law & Order (which wouldn't be bad if it was Elliot Stabler)? Would a weird dead body smell seep into my apartment? WHAT DOES A DEAD BODY SMELL LIKE?!

Days went by and my questions still pondered. Knock on his door? Call the apartment manager? I probably should have knocked on his door, but what do you say? I thought you were dead - just checking! Luckily, I ran into another neighbor who enjoys gossipy chit-chat and Grey's Anatomy. Oh yeah...he also plays the organ at 10:30 at night. YES, I can hear it. He's a big, muscular guy...and I'm going to go out on the limb here and say he's gay. Not because of his TV watching habits or organ playing, but he once described, in detail, the hotness of a new guy neighbor. Heck, I agreed with him, and it sealed my initial impression.

During our conversation on home decor I softly whispered, "You know the man that lives below me? Is he DEAD?" Fearing the worst, my neighbor laughed and said, "Girl, you are SO crazy...shoo he got himself a new car and lady friend." Whew...my neighbor is not dead...and the weird smell in my apartment must be old garbage. The trials and tribulations of living alone...more on that topic later...please sir.